“Six years ago it changed,” says Venisha Brown. “Christmas will never be the same.”

On Christmas Day 2006, Venisha’s father, music legend James Brown, died of congestive heart failure. At the time some associates were quoted as saying that Brown, the ultimate showman, would have loved the drama of passing away on Christmas Day. In truth, it was probably the worst time he could have gone.

James Brown loved Christmas. In his hometown of Augusta, Georgia, his charitable ventures had made him synonymous with the holiday. For Brown’s family, whose time with him was limited thanks to his busy work schedule, Christmas meant time together. Hours before he was transported to hospital on Christmas Eve, his last telephone conversation with his wife Tomi Rae had been about Christmas preparations. It is hard now for those Brown loved to enjoy the day, which still evokes painful memories.

“It’s a sad time,” Venisha says. “Quiet time, you know? That’s what I did this Christmas: just quiet time. Not to be depressed, not to cry or nothing – but just quiet time and remembering good thoughts. I was actually listening to his music and stuff, just missing him. Anybody who loses a parent, doesn’t matter which day it is, but he just happened to leave on Christmas Day. It’s like… Wow.”

“I’ll be honest with you,” says her sister, Deanna Brown-Thomas. “I think all of us deal with it in our own special way. Peace and quiet for me is the best way to deal with it. I’ve kind of become an introvert on that day for now.”

For the Brown sisters, Christmas comes earlier these days.Since 2007 they have spent the months leading up to the festive period preparing for two annual charity events founded by their father – events they have fought to keep running since his death. Every November they host the annual James Brown Thanksgiving Turkey Giveaway, dishing out hundreds of birds to needy families. Three weeks later they stage their father’s annual Christmas Toy Giveaway.

Gifts at the most recent toy giveaway, which served more than 800 underprivileged kids at Augusta’s James Brown Arena on December 20, included bicycles, dolls, board games and electric keyboards. The day also featured live music, face-painting and a special appearance from Santa Claus.

When their father was alive, he would personally attend the functions.

“The toy giveaways were just awesome,” says friend and producer Derrick Monk. “The kids would get a joy out of seeing that black limo drive up. Yea, they wanted to get the toys, but when Mr Brown showed up on the scene it was a hysterical moment. He would stand out and talk with everybody. He would try to shake everybody’s hand. He was really a people’s person.”

James Brown hands out toys at one of his famous Christmas giveaways. Picture supplied by the James Brown Family Foundation.”

Brown’s tradition of Christmas giving began in the 1960s. He demonstrated his love for the season by releasing a succession of Christmas albums between the mid-1960s and early 70s, despite none of them charting particularly well. It was shortly after the release of the second, 1968’s A Soulful Christmas, that Brown’s first documented Christmas charity event took place; He donated full Christmas dinners to 3,000 needy families in New York.

The following December he performed a six-day residency at Harlem’s Apollo Theater, donating all of the profits to the poor. His Christmas giving continued in 1971, when he delivered food and clothes to an Augusta family who had suffered a house fire. By that point, Brown had begun staging an annual Christmas display at his family home on Walton Way. His ostentatious decorations drew crowds almost as big as his concerts.

“He would have all of these Christmas props,” laughs Deanna. “He would have a big Christmas festival in the yard.It’s funny because now, people still tell me that they remember that. They remember as a young kid going up there.”

Brown would even dress as Father Christmas and entertain local children.

“People now tell me that was the first time they ever saw a black Santa Claus,” she continues. “He would give out candy to the kids and sign autographs and take pictures and there would be carolling there. I remember the cars would be backed down the road trying to get in.”

The annual toy giveaway began in the early 1990s, as an offshoot from the turkey giveaway, which launched in 1990. Nobody is entirely sure where the idea for the giveaways came from, but daughter Deanna thinks it may have been the brainchild of her father’s elderly masseuse, Mr Fuller.

“He and my dad would have very intense conversations,” she says. “He’s passed now. He used to come almost every day when dad was home, to give him a massage. He was an older man and a Christian man and a bible reader and he always talked about how important it was to give to the poor. I know that there was a conversation that they had once and he started it right in 1990.”

Brown’s last ever public appearance was at the 2006 toy giveaway, three days before his death. He appeared at the event despite a persistent cough and shortness of breath, which were diagnosed as pneumonia two days later.

“I remember him coming and getting out of the car and my dad looked so fragile,” says Venisha. “Real thin and he looked sick. But the thing is that giving back and being there for people who are less fortunate meant so much to my father that he just felt that he had to be there. He would put other people’s needs before his.

“After he gave out some gifts he went back home but I said, ‘Daddy, you don’t look well’. His reply was, ‘I don’t feel good sugar, but I gotta be here for my people’. That’s exactly what he said and that was the last time that I saw him.”

James Brown’s daughters Venisha, Deanna and Yamma at the 2012 toy giveaway. Picture supplied by the James Brown Family Foundation.

Keeping the giveaways going since their father’s death has not been a walk in the park for the Brown sisters. Arguments over their father’s will began on the day of his death. Six years later they remain unresolved and the Brown sisters have had to carry out their father’s charitable ventures every year without any financial assistance from his estate. It has taken ‘concerted effort’, says Deanna. To fund the events they have established the James Brown Family Foundation, whose board members include Reverend Al Sharpton, to raise money through private donations and government grants.

Some changes have had to be made. For instance, a new system has been introduced at the turkey giveaway to stop people abusing their kindness. James Brown, family and friends say, could be too generous for his own good.

“There was a lot of times when I stood in the line there and I would see people come through the line twice,” laughs Derrick Monk. “I would ask him, ‘Hey, didn’t you see them come through the line twice, Mr Brown?’ He would say, ‘Mr Monk, they may have needed two turkeys’.”

“My dad’s pockets were kinda deep,” says Venisha. “If they came and said, ‘Mr Brown, we need a turkey’ – he’s just giving it, you know? But some people see a good thing and they want to take advantage.”

The sisters have solved the problem with the introduction of a computer programme that logs the address of everybody who collects a turkey. If the same address is used twice, the computer alerts the sisters and their fellow volunteers.

“He designed this for people in need, not in want,” says Venisha. “You have some cases that four people will come in line and those four people stay in one household. So now we have one turkey per household and we don’t know if they need it or want it – but that’s not for us to say. And actually, it worked out. We still were able to give back but we’ve seen a big difference in how many turkeys we’ve been giving away.”

Deanna Brown-Thomas at the James Brown Arena, preparing for the 2012 toy giveaway. Picture supplied by the James Brown Family Foundation.

The savings have allowed the sisters to spread the love beyond the state boundaries. In recent years they have begun holding more giveaways in Harlem, New York – a community dear to their father’s heart. The New York toy giveaway is held at the Harlem Lanes bowling alley, less than a five-minute walk from the Apollo Theater where James Brown made his name.

The sisters’ plan is to continue launching new giveaways until they run nationwide, but funding for such a project would be extremely hard to come by. They hope for a resolution to legal sparring over their father’s estate in the next year or so, but in the meantime they are focusing on another project: bringing their father’s biggest humanitarian ambition to life.

***

Derrick Monk, who produced much of Brown’s latter day work, believes the singer’s decision to hire him was in itself a humanitarian act. Brown would regularly drive around Augusta checking in on acquaintances and old school pals. He’d knock on the door, chat a little and then give them a wad of cash to see them through whatever hard times might be lurking around the corner. Other times he’d ride around in his black, chauffeur-driven limousine giving fistfuls of hundred dollar bills to kids he passed on the street, telling them to give it to their parents to start a college fund.

Deanna Brown-Thomas says these ‘random acts of kindness’ were a part of life with James Brown: “We’d see him do that all the time. He bought musicians’ houses, cars and sent their kids through school. Bought cars for their mothers. He bought this one lady’s momma a car because hers had broken down and she couldn’t get back and forth to her prison ministry.

“I remember being out in California visiting Venisha. We were in the limousine. He told the driver, ‘Just stop’. He got out the car and started walking across the street – all the bodyguards trying to run behind him, make sure he’s alright – and he’s going over to these homeless people who are on the ground.

“When they look and see it’s James Brown, they rise up like dead people and he just starts giving out money – fifty dollar bills, hundred dollar bills – trying to just talk to them and shake their hands – ‘Go help yourself, brother’, ‘Go do something for yourself’, ‘Go get something to eat and clean yourself up’.”

Brown was on one of his trips around Augusta in 1993, checking in on old acquaintances, when Derrick Monk noticed his famous limousine parked up on Laney Walker Boulevard. Monk had just left his job as a church musician – he cites artistic differences with the preacher – and was driving around town looking for work. Seeing a chance to meet one of his heroes, he pulled over.

“He said to me, ‘How can I help you, young man?” Monk recalls. “I began to tell him, ‘My name is Derrick Monk…’ and when I was telling him my name he started smiling like as if he had heard about me already. He said to me, ‘I heard you can play the hell out of an organ.’ He invited me to his rehearsal at the Imperial Theater a few days later and he hired me. I became his A&R; man at his record label Brownstone Records and started producing songs on him.”

The pair’s first album together, ‘I’m Back’, spawned the single ‘Funk On A Roll’, which hit top 40 in Britain. Their next collaboration was Brown’s fourth Christmas collection, 1999’s ‘The Merry Christmas Album’, whose closing track ‘Don’t Forget The Poor At Christmas’ epitomised his holiday philosophy. But it was their next project that would provide the soundtrack for the Godfather of Soul’s final crusade.

James Brown and Derrick Monk at Brown’s final toy giveaway, three days before his death. Picture supplied by Derrick Monk.

Not long into the new millennium Derrick Monk received a call from Brown, who was staying in an Atlanta hospital for a few days. The singer said he needed to see Monk and to come as soon as possible. When Monk arrived, Brown invited him to take a seat and the pair quietly watched television for a short while.

“Monk,” Brown announced suddenly, “I believe the reason why I had to come to the hospital is because I had to see that they’re killing these kids in school. Come here. They got a piano back here. I want you to hear this song.”

The pair moved to another room where Brown sat down at a piano and pulled a sheet of yellow notepad paper from his pocket, on which he had penned the lyrics to a new track. Plotting out the chords as he went, Brown beatboxed the bass line and sang the lyrics.

Monk recalls: “He said, ‘Son, I want you to go back and write this song and bring it back to me. When I come out I’m gonna record it’.”

Monk never did get to the bottom of what Brown had seen in hospital to inspire the track – or why he had even been in hospital in the first place.

‘Killing Is Out, School Is In’ would become the pair’s most celebrated collaboration. A heavy funk number, it implored young people to resist the allure of gang culture. “Try romance!” Brown cried. “Turn that hat around, take the gun out your pants!”

Brown saw the track as a modern take on his 1966 hit ‘Don’t Be A Dropout’, whose release saw the star work with Vice President Hubert Humphrey to launch a national stay-in-school campaign. Having only been educated to a seventh grade level, Brown travelled around the US on a school tour, talking to kids about the perils of entering adult life without an education. He opened ‘Don’t Be A Dropout’ clubs across the country and on his next tour he donated $500 scholarships to nearby black colleges wherever he stopped. He handed out five scholarships at every show, averaging four shows every week for roughly six months.

Excited by ‘Killing Is Out’, Brown promoted the song vigorously with a succession of press and broadcast interviews, but it got little airplay and failed to chart. It did, however, attract the attention of the National Crime Prevention Council , which was so impressed that it publicly expressed interest in using Brown and the song in TV and radio commercials.

Alongside its pro-school, anti-crime sentiments, the track seemed to be taking a swipe at hip-hop iconography. In an April 2001 interview with Brown, concertlivewire.com suggested that ‘Killing Is Out’ was ‘going against what gangsta rap is all about’. Brown avoided commenting on the genre, instead opting for a more diplomatic response: “Whatever makes your kid go crazy and want to shoot you and shoot his brother, that’s what we’re against.”

But he did give some indication of his thoughts on hip-hop, which ruled the charts at the time. Asked for his take on modern music, he replied, “There is no music, that’s the problem.”

Brown’s relationship with hip-hop was complex. The genre had its roots firmly in the musical template he had created with his funk movement in the 1960s and 70s; the one-and-three beat, the prominent bass and the emphasis on rhythm over melody. Brown remains the most sampled artist of all time, with many of hip-hop’s earliest hits built on looped fragments of his old material.

But while Brown often publicly revelled in his role as the Forefather of Hip-Hop, which fit neatly alongside his various other monikers, he harboured deep reservations about the direction the music was taking. The genre had become famous for its violent imagery. Rap stars frequently hit headlines espousing sexist or homophobic beliefs. In some instances, Brown’s own compositions were the canvases upon which rappers displayed their questionable sentiments.

In 2003, Nelly and Missy Elliott sampled Brown’s yearning, gospel-infused ‘Please Please Please’ on a track called ‘Pump It Up’. In the song, Nelly rapped: “Yea Ma, I heard you like the magic stick, Me I got the gadget stick, It’s like a go-go gadget dick. You know, make her climb the walks and shit… Walk up in the party, girls be swinging they panties, you see they was doing that before I had them Grammies.”

Perhaps most alarmingly, Brown’s groundbreaking, empowering civil rights anthem ‘Say It Loud, I’m Black And I’m Proud’ was sampled by Five Deez on a 2001 track called ‘Got Dough’, which included the lines, “Stank chicks, they sweat my knot and I love ‘em, I got cheese, now to bone ‘em I don’t have to drug ‘em… I love the women, the women love me in return. I bust sperm in the shape of dollar signs.”

Brown’s aspirational tunes, such as ‘Soul Pride’ and ‘I Don’t Want Nobody To Give Me Nothing (Open Up The Door, I’ll Get It Myself)’,hadset out to instil moral values in his young listeners; stay in school, take pride in yourself, work hard, give back to your community. To be so often cited as the inspiration for such divisive music, and to have his own compositions used as the basis for such lyrics, filled him with unease.

“Mr Brown loved hip-hop,” says Derrick Monk. “He was a part of hip-hop. There would be no hip-hop had not there been no James Brown. So he had to love something that he created… But he never felt that music had to be explicit. He thought they could be a little more creative with their lyrics instead of just going to the gutter.”

As time wore on, Brown would become less coy about his thoughts on rappers, choosing to directly challenge them both in his music and in his public statements. In 2005 he recorded two tracks railing against contemporary music. The first, ‘They Don’t Want Music’, was a collaboration with the Black Eyed Peas. The lyrics complained about modern musicians’ reliance on technology instead of musicianship. The second, a demo titled ‘Gutbucket’, was recorded for an album he would die before he could complete. On the track he sang, “Hey rappers, judgement day. We’ve got to save the kids and music is the only way.”

Brown on tour in London in June 2005 after recording two songs railing against modern music. Picture by Charles Thomson.

In October 2006, in a press conference at London’s Roundhouse, he bemoaned the dwindling use of horns and pianos. He told reporters about ‘Gutbucket’ and its message to rappers, again urging them to write positive lyrics for their young fans. “We’ve got to put the music back in the music,” he concluded.

A month later at the UK Music Hall of Fame – the last time James Brown would ever appear onstage – he ended his induction speech by saying, “Let’s change our lyrics, clean the music up and take these kids to a better life and a better place.”

Weeks later, at a public memorial service in Augusta, Reverend Al Sharpton recalled his last conversation with his friend and mentor. He said Brown had told him: “What happened to us, that we’re now celebrating being down? What happened that we went from ‘Say It Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud’, to calling each other niggers and hoes and bitches? I sung people up and now they’re singing people down – and we need to change the music’.”

Brown onstage at London’s Roundhouse, hours after a press conference denouncing modern music. Picture by Charles Thomson.

***

Just about everybody James Brown knew had heard his plans to ‘change the music’ on at least one occasion. While running her father’s radio stations, Deanna Brown-Thomas had heard it perhaps more than anyone. The idea had been formulating in his mind for years. What was needed was a drive to get more kids learning the craft musicianship; learning to play instruments and write proper songs. What was needed was a school. A James Brown School.

“Music and education had such a strong place in his heart,” says Deanna. “Having a school was something that he talked about quite a bit. He’d say, ‘These kids ain’t doin’ nothin’ out here. They ain’t playin’ nothin’ ‘cause they don’t know nothin’. They ain’t learnin’ nothin’.’

“When I ran the radio stations for him here and in Atlanta, he didn’t want me dealing with no record companies because he would say, ‘They ain’t playin’ nothin’. The artists that they got, they ain’t doin’ nothin’.

“He was with the Barry Whites, Aretha Franklins. The real heavyweights. Ray Charles. He was like, ‘This is the music. Real instruments. Children, go learn this. Go learn how somebody goes into a studio with a band and not just go in there and put their beats together. Go in there with instruments’. He would talk about how important it was for young artists to learn their music.”

Brown’s ultimate vision, set out in his will, was for much of his fortune to be put into an ‘I Feel Good Trust’ to provide education for needy children, sending them to college on James Brown Scholarships. With Brown’s estate still locked up, the sisters cannot yet go about putting that plan into action – although they say it will be a priority when the legal arguments have been resolved. But they have been able to achieve part of their father’s dream. The James Brown Academy of Musik Pupils (JAMP) opened its doors in summer 2011.

Managed in partnership with existing Augusta music school the C H Terrell Academy, JAMP runs three terms every year and takes in new students every term. Pupils take music history classes, receive instrumental tuition from former James Brown band members and carry out community service, all with a view to eventually creating a college application portfolio that will boost their chances of gaining a scholarship.

Students are split into three groups. Jampers, the least experienced students, are given recorders when they first join and begin learning to read music. When they have a feel for it, they start experimenting with different instruments before choosing a primary and a secondary. They then receive tuition in both.

Students learn to read music at JAMP. Picture supplied by the James Brown Academy of Music Pupils.

Jamp Masters, the more experienced musicians, play in a band. They tour around Augusta performing community gigs, which are logged in their college portfolios as community service. At 16, Jamp Masters can become Maestros In Training, working with mentors on their college applications. In just over 18 months, the academy has already helped one Augusta teen to secure a college scholarship.

Fourteen-year-old Neema Colon enrolled in summer 2011, when the academy first opened its doors. A Jamp Master, she used to perform locally as a solo vocalist. Since enrolling, she has become a competent bassist, performing with the Academy band and taking solo vocal spots.

“It’s awesome,” she says. “It’s given me a lot of opportunities to go around and play. I’m not as nervous as I used to be onstage. It changes the way you feel about performing.”

Fellow student Johnathan Mosley adds, “It’s really added a lot of stage presence to my performing and some of the way I play, actually.”

Johnathan, 18, was behind a year in school when he enrolled in the academy’s second term in autumn 2011. He plays drums and keyboards but his instrument of choice is the guitar. When the Brown sisters heard him play, they immediately signed him up on a scholarship. Since enrolling, he practices for five hours every evening after a ten-hour day at school. He was promoted to Maestro In Training level by Christmas 2011 and began work on his college portfolio. His ambition is to become a church musician and he hopes the academy will help secure him a scholarship to train at Hillsong College in Australia.

“I walked into the academy and I really liked the way it was,” he says. “I liked the way they taught things. I used to just play rock stuff. Now it’s changed into a bluesy feel or a jazz feel, something close to that.”

Diversity of music is a key aspect of the children’s studies, says curriculum leader Kimberly Baxter-Lee:“We cover jazz, blues, even a little bit of hip-hop – but how it can be clean, as well.”

A lot of the students have rethought their stances on hip-hop since enrolling, says Deanna: “The music they’re into now, the tastes and the flavour have changed.”

“Oh yea,” laughs Kimberly. “They won’t go to the hip-hop concerts now. They want to know, ‘Do they have a live band?’ They’re at a totally different level compared to how they first came in, which is great to see. They’ve opened themselves up to classical music, country music…”

It’s not just the kids whose tastes have changed.

“These kids have opened me up into the art world like no other,” admits Kimberly. “Before, if it wasn’t classical, I didn’t wanna hear it. Now my ringtone is Mr Brown.”

Growing up in Augusta, Kimberly was accustomed to seeing James Brown around town from a young age. Not realising the level of his fame, she viewed him as a nuisance, always bugging her about her education.

“His favourite words to me were always, ‘How’s school going?’” she laughs. “I was like, ‘Uuugh!’ Every time, it was like, ‘Uhhh, he’s always here!’ Now I’m one of the best James Brown fans you’ve got.”

When Johnathan isn’t studying or practicing his guitar, he can often be found carrying out hours of community service for his college application. He picks up some of those hours by teaching Jampers like Neema. Others are logged when he plays with the band at community events like the turkey and toy giveaways.

“Playing the giveaways has showed me a lot,” says Neema. “There are a lot of people who don’t have what you have and who aren’t blessed like you. Seeing that and seeing how Mr Brown came and gave and spent time there and gave back to the community really inspires you to keep going and keep living his legacy.”

The JAMP band at the 2012 toy giveaway with curriculum leader Kimberly Baxter-Lee. Picture supplied by the James Brown Family Foundation.

The band is led by former James Brown guitarist Keith Jenkins, who joined the singer’s group in the early 1990s and played with him until his death. Under his tuition, says Deanna, the kids evolved swiftly into a tight, funky band.

“These kids are amazing,” she says. “It’s amazing what they can do with an instrument. Oh my goodness.”

“Keith is teaching these little kids real James Brown riffs, man,” laughs Derrick Monk. “Deanna invited me out to talk to the class one day. I was so impressed. Mr Brown would be so happy. White kids, black kids, Mexican kids – everybody together performing in this one band. It’s funny because you got these little kids playing instruments and singing and doing James Brown songs – and I mean to the tee! It’s just awesome. I think they’re incredible and I know Mr Brown would just be tickled.”

The group can already count at least one legendary artist among their fans. Last year they received a surprise invitation from Prince, who has himself spent the last decade preaching the importance of young people picking up real instruments. He was so impressed by the JAMP band that he invited them to play a pre-show gig for an arena audience at his Chicago residency in September 2012.

“He gave the kids VIP seating at the concert,” says Kimberly. “They sat at round, high-top tables with very chic bar stools, right next to the stairs to go on stage. George Lopez was next to them. Prince had some of them come onstage and dance with him during the show.

“Prince puts on one heck of a show. The kids were speechless. You know it’s an experience that will never be forgotten. He even played Mr Brown’s song, ‘I Don’t Want Nobody To Give Me Nothing’. When we got back the kids were walking around school doing the hand motions to ‘Cool’ by The Time. Too funny!”

The kids have since had their first taste of the recording studio, having made an album of ten tight, funky James Brown covers. Titled ‘Jamp-ism: The New Breed’, profits from the sale of the album will help fund the academy as it continues to take in new students.

Ultimately, the James Brown Family Foundation would like to duplicate JAMP’s success over and over again.

“It would be wonderful to have a JB Academy on every continent,” says Kimberly. “To have it worldwide, since Mr Brown was known worldwide.”

“He always had a vision to help educate,” says Derrick Monk. “He tried to do that with not only his own children but everybody else’s. I mean, look at me. He even educated me, a guy who didn’t have a high school diploma. He was always trying to educate, whether it was school education or just trying to help get someone on their feet. He was always about helping somebody.

“I used to call him the little man with the big heart,” Monk chuckles. “He would laugh every time I’d tell him that.”

The JAMP band poses with James Brown’s statue in Augusta, Georgia. Picture supplied by the James Brown Family Foundation.

Click here to listen to excerpts or buy the JAMP album.

There is a great deal of cultural differences discussed in this article, so before starting I’d like to introduce myself from a cultural point of view, so that it will be a reference point for the readers.

This is a random edit example…!

I am a native Russian, born in Estonia and living in Latvia. Despite spending almost all my life in the post-soviet countries, I consider myself European, although many claim that it is easier to get man out of the Soviet Union than Soviet Union out of the man. As for the Baltics, the Soviet views and way of life are slowly getting extinct here, although from time to time I feel that there is still way to go.

This summer, I decided to escape this year’s incredibly rainy Baltic weather and to spend ten days exploring the sites of Ukrainian peninsula Crimea, taking the advantage of hot Crimean sun and extremely warm Black Sea. We gathere a company of three university friends – two Russians and one French – and were expecting to have excellent time together.

Our adventures began in Simferopol, the city with the population of about 300,000, which is the largest in Crimea. When strolling through its streets, one can quickly see the main attributes of each Crimean city (of course I cannot speak about the rest of the Ukraine, but still):

1) The main street is always called Lenin Street. While in the rest of the post-Soviet countries governments try to hide the Soviet heritage and give streets more neutral names, it seems that in Crimea people are at least 30 years back in time, with all these Lenin, Karl Marks, Rosa Luxembourg, Proletariat, and other street names which remind of long forgotten Socialist heroes and leaders.

Lenin statue on the main square of Simferopol

2) They say that Japanese or European cars serve ten years properly and after that they break down. Soviet cars work for forty years horribly, and they don’t break down. Choose what you like, but as for Crimea, I have never seen such a number of old Zhiguli cars, as here. Once the privilege of wealthy Soviet families, now they can be seen anywhere, of course alongside Lexus and Porsche Cayenne, as the income inequality is flourishing here.

3) most of the buildings were built during the 1950′s, and since that time I doubt that anyone gave them a proper refurbishment. As for small Crimean towns, later I saw that some of them look as if the bombs of the Second World War have fallen on them only yesterday, and the local have not started to rebuild the city yet. However, despite such poor conditions, locals seem to be energetic and optimistic, being ready to rent you every corner of their flat or house, and the demand is high, especially in the coastal towns which are close to the beach.

Some of the funny houses on the streets, when one house is built right on the other, older one.

In such atmosphere, you should forget about usual Western European way of going out, which we foolishly tried during our first night. Pub crawl in Simferopol finished with the first bar, where the bartender, after giving us the wrong change (much less than supposed to) and after our indignation, just told us coldly: “well, if you didn’t like it, just don’t come again”. And we never did. Later, when we moved to the cost, we were staying on our own balcony or on the beach during the night, drinking Crimean wine. The weather was Perfect during any time of day and night, and it was sheer pleasure to stay outside with a bottle of wine, swimming, drinking, looking at the stars. Actually, despite the great number of tourists on the cost (mainly from Russian Federation), the entertainment facilities in most of the towns are extremely simple, everything you can count on is small open-air terraces under umbrellas, with a limited range of “shashlik” or other plats de jour.

Bear-Mountain (right) and Black Sea - as seen from the window of our apartment.

locals are selling and drinks and berries to the very few tourists who manage to get to this mountain.

we got almost all the way up, climbing for about 1.5 hours.

what is still left in front

Magnificent Vorontsov palace - built in the 18th century for the Russian prince.

I’m quite fond of Greek Island embroidery –  a dying craft – so when the people at the Pavezzo Country Retreat where I was staying told me the island was famous  for a very special sort of embroidery I high tailed it to the town of Karya to see if I could hunt up something special. And so I did. At the back of the town up a steep hill lies the museum. It’s inconveniently open from 9am-10am, but if you make an appointment a man with a large stick will open up especially for you. So the indefatigable Apostolos who helps run the Pavezzo retreat tracked down the number for me and made the appointment and that was how I discovered the world’s third most expensive museum.    

The most important weaving in the museum (which I am supremely confident you have never heard of) is a small kilim which is nailed to a wall and mostly obscured by a dirty plain woollen skirt, which probably belonged to a shepherd, tacked over it. Other highlights are small stained embroidery of a woman herding goats and a 19th century religious panel of the crucifixion. A woven bedspread confidently dated to the 17th century looks from the aniline dyes to be from about 1930.

The story behind the Karya museum goes as follows. A local woman who had lost one hand and was unable to do embroidery like everyone else in the Ionian Islands went to herd her sheep one day and saw a burning bush. Then, as is often the case on such occasions, she had a vision of the Virgin Mary who told her that she was destined to open a sewing school and showed her how she could overcome her disability and embroider with one hand by using a special new stitch. Filled with the divine revelation she hastened back to the village and told everyone, and they of course believed every word of it, because visions of the Virgin have always been very, very good for tourism. So  she opened her school to teach children the Stitch, examples of which you can see in the museum of course. 

Having enthralled me with the story the curator began the tour, leading me through the upstairs room filled with a loom and models of women weaving. They’re not quite of Madame Tussauds quality - being made of stuffed bolsters and pillows with painted faces - but  they are definitely very creepy. I was a bit disappointed with the embroideries, of which there are few and mostly rather grimy, as the curator happily grabs them with his not-to clean fingers to show you the Stitch.

After this brief tour (if you walk slowly it takes about 98 seconds to cover this room) he took me downstairs to a very dark place which was the old schoolroom and ordered me to sit on a log. He then told to pull up my skirt, put my hands behind my back and open my legs. If you hesitate, he helps out. Much to my relief a German family had crept in behind me and their two children were being forced to follow the same ritual.

The object of this was soon revealed. I was to learn the Stitch. The curator placed a piece of cloth between my knees, to show how it could be held; the Germans took my photograph and that was the end of the tour: apart from the obligatory shop. The curator, who up to now had been quite friendly, seemed to descend into a dark mood as I approached the exit. Here, blocking the way was a table laid with small (I mean really small) squares of white cloth embroidered with the Stitch. This, he informed me rather angrily, was all the handiwork of his daughter. The price: 15 Euros. But that did not include the entrance fee, which I had not yet paid, of 2.50 Euros. I handed over a 20 euro note and waited but there seemed to be a problem with change. Now the curator was getting quite worked up about the fact that he had opened specially up even though it was long after 10am. So I told him to keep the change and he handed me a leaflet from Eurocar, presumably by way of thanks, and unblocked the exit.     

For other off-the-track Greek delights, visit the Pavezzo Country Retreat on the Ionian Island of  Lefkada. Visit www.pavezzo.gr or call +30 26450 71782 and ask for Apostolos. 

With his style firmly indebted to Motown, Bo Saris (a former Pop Idol winner over in the Netherlands) combines funky riffs and soulful vocals, a harkback to the soul masters. Also featured is a remix of Bo’s song from Maya Jane Coles, a London-bred DJ specialising in all things deep – check more of her stuff in my previous post Union Jacked. Then a super-smooth lick from 60′s funk/soul band The Meters.

She’s On Fire – Bo Saris
http://soundcloud.com/bosaris/shes-on-fire

She’s On Fire (Maya Jane Coles remix) – Bo Saris


Just Kissed My Baby – The Meters

When can atmospheric French electronic music not be sexy? Paradis with their brand of moody, nonchalent electro. Then some world vibes, with a tropical, dub-centric tune from Quantic and also an edit that feels as timeless as it does eternally chilled from Raja -  a reverb-filled, hammock-swinging track (that’s a musical term, right?).

Hémisphère - Paradis


No Soy Del Valle – Quantic Presenta Flowering Inferno


That Girl (Tape edit) - Rajahttp://soundcloud.com/lordraja/that-girl-feat-starchild-tape

The fabulously ethereal, synth-heavy soundtrack to Drive features this gem from French producer College, stirring memories of Ryan Gosling & Carey Mulligan’s dream-like courting period, before Gosling starts smashing the living hell out of everyone who crosses his path & scares the girl. British musician, producer and DJ Bonobo aka Simon Green creates vibes nothing short of mesmerising. Then some previously-posted, falsetto tones of D’Angelo to ensure your Sunday morning gets off the perfect start, and atmospheric bliss in experimental rock form from Menomena hailing from Portland, Oregon.

A Real Hero – College & Electric Youth

Untitled - Bonobo

Fair but so Uncool (Earth Wind & Fire cover) -
D’Angelo

Oahu – Menomena

Stay… in bed,
Wall-B

With the Royal Wedding last year, and soon the Queen’s Jubilee & the London 2012 Olympics, you could be forgiven thinking the UK is the only place to be right now. Ignoring these sideshows, there is currently an abundance of talented producers & DJs operating out of the UK, so here’s some recent tunes I’ve been playing on loop, the old-school with the new, showing Britain’s love for all things bassy & electronic is alive & well. One of the best loved underground music shows, the Boiler Room, evolved from the UK’s rich pirate radio heritage, and now broadcast live sets & shows worldwide to intimate crowds & thousands of stay-at-home vagabonds via live streams. The ‘UK bass’ label has been banded about to house productions incorporating elements of garage, house, techno, dubstep, drum & bass, future garage, 2-step & UK funky. Whatever you want to call it, the electronic output from these isles is undoubtedly fresh, just let your ears be the judge.

First up, some garage flavours spiced with Ron Burgundy-esque flute and an edit from Matt Hesselworth aka Hesseltime, a London based producer and DJ who residents at London’s Trouble Vision clubnight and runs Tief. Then melodic, funky-bass driven electonica from Arkist, a synth-heavy dream of a track from Brighton-based Bearcubs & a groovy remix of grime grandfather Wiley from the 2 Bears, a London-based musical duo composed of Joe Goddard (of Hot Chip) and Raf Rundell - the duo produces original material incorporating various styles including 2-step, house, hip-hop and soul.

My Sound (Al Brown Remix) - Zed Bias & Mc Juiceman

Papa Was A Rolling Stone (Hesseltime & Benyayer Edit) – The Temptations

Skanking (The 2 Bears remix) – Wiley

Fresh sounds from Real aka Jackson Almond with his unique blend of melodic-infused bass laced with layers of electronic loveliness, snazzy snares & crisp kicks. Then some tunes from two teenage producers/DJs George Townsend and Adam Kaye aka Bondax, who, despite their tender years, showcase masterful production with their self-proclaimed ”airy sunny romantic vibes”. Also thrown in is a tune by Saulya, a young producer out of Nottingham signed to Squelch & Clap records, and some new material from Last Japan, a producer working out of London town.

Work The Middle (Real remix) – Andrea

Movers & Shakers – Real

http://soundcloud.com/real/movers-and-shakers

Effort Isn’t Enou – Saulya

http://soundcloud.com/squelchandclap/s-c008-saulya-effort-isnt-1

All I Want – Bondax

All Inside – Bondax

Everytime I - Last Japan & Bondax

East ft. Trim - Last Japan

Clean Bandit make seriously melodic electronic sounds with classical flecks, accompanied by consistently dope visuals, and in frontman Ssegawa, they not only have a supremely talented singer/rapper, but also a leading mind in the field of lasers - an incredibly talented collective in an age saturated with mediocrity. Cubiq consists of Carlos Posada and Jamie Jay, two producers/DJs from Oxfordshire, who share a passion for house, techno, minimal and all things electronic. Also thrown in is a bass-infused disco-y track from Cubiq & Real Nice (Ben Real & Sam Nice), who work out of London & Bristol, as well as a delectable disco edit of Fleetwood Mac from Psychemagik.

Local Sauce (live) – Clean Bandit

Worry Fill My Heart (Cubiq’s ‘P45’ Remix) – Spring Offensive

Had Enough (Matt Fear Remix) - Real Nice & Cubiq

Everywhere (Psychemagik Edit) – Fleetwood Mac

Mosca‘s productions skills are varied & lush, the London-based artist drawing influences from dancehall, grime, bassline, garage, hip-hop and all types of underground deep, soulful and techy house, and I’ve picked out a couple of the production highlights from his Soundcloud. Joy Orbison‘s sound sits somewhere between house and garage, with soft bass, hypnotic percussion and spliced-up vocals galore. Glaswegian producer Koreless and his brand of ultra-serene electronic joy is a must-hear & the last tune is from London producer Capracara, with his brand of wonky, roughly produced floor-fillers.

Bax – Mosca

Eva Mendes – Mosca

Sicko Cell - Joy Orbison

4D – Koreless

Cause I Said It Right (DJ Haus & Capracara’s Clubb Mixx) – Clarence G

http://soundcloud.com/capracara/clarence-g-cause-i-said-it

Taken from his most recent album Personality, Scuba aka Paul Rose creates a summer-ready house tune with a silky glow. He also heads the critically acclaimed Hotflush recordings, a watershed for all forms of bass and with a roster few can contend with. There’s a couple of tunes from Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs aka Orlando Higginbottom from Oxford, whose infectious grooves swing between dreamy electro & stomping bass, resulting in scarily on-point dance floor vibes – his live shows are a must-see, comprising of bizarre instruments, glitter shotguns and dinosaurs who party hard. Included is a blissful remix of T.E.E.D. from Calibre, real name Dominick Martin, a music producer hailing from Belfast, Northern Ireland, whose grasp of drum & bass is second to none as proven by his most recent album Condition. Finally a couple of tunes from Maya Jane Coles, whose slick productions incorporate a diverse range of musical styles. Her talents are by no means limited to the realms of house and techno, as under the guise of her live dub/electronica outfit, She Is Danger (alongside Lena Cullen), she has remixed the likes of Gorillaz and fans of her bassy alias Nocturnal Sunshine include key tastemakers Joy Orbison and Scuba to name a couple.

Tulips – Scuba

Tapes & Money - Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs

Neighbourhood - Calibre featuring MC Fats

High Life – Maya Jane Coles

Not Listening - Maya Jane Coles

Cocoon (Nocturnal Sunshine Remix) - Alpines

UK producer/ singer Jai Paul with a track full of funky riffs & Prince-esque, ghostly vocals. Fybe:one is a music producer, graphic designer & illustrator from South London who also finds time to run the label Shades of Grey. Youan is a little-known British producer, but based on the below tune someone to keep an ear out for, as well as Welsh producers Owls & Bodhi, here remixing Destiny’s Child to create all sorts of aural badassness!

Jasmine – Jai Paul

Fountain – Fybe:one

Sun (Caribou) – Fybe remix

http://soundcloud.com/fybeone/sun-fybe-remix

Movin’ – Youan

http://soundcloud.com/youan/movin

Say My Name – Owls & Bodhi

http://soundcloud.com/bodhi-music/owls-bodhi-say-my-name

Play Along (Waze & Odyssey Garage Sale Mix) - Dans Le Sac

http://soundcloud.com/wazeandodyssey/dans-le-sac-play-along-waze

What’s In Your Head – Disclosure

This post aims to just scratch the surface of the thriving UK electronic music scene, and apologies to all the talented producers, musicians & DJs not covered here!

Stay Royal,

Wall-B

Let us contrast this with the fortunes of Linkedin, the world’s premier professional networking facility and the 31st most-visited website on the internet. It has 161 million users worldwide, but the company only employs 2447 staff globally – this works out as one employee for every 65,795 members. Linkedin was valued at $10.45 billion in January 2012, and has predicted revenues of over $754 million for the year. This works out at an average of $5 of revenue per member annually, and equates to $65 of investment for every user on the network. In Spain and Italy, whose combined national members amount to 4% of Linkedin’s global coverage, the combined revenues equal $30 million per annum and the value of the company’s operations across the two countries is around $390 million. Those figures represent a lot of money, especially in the context of the most vicious recession in living memory, and it all comes from managing data. Linkedin and its ilk do not produce any physically-tangible products or services, they simply enable the transmission of ideas and data between individuals. And, the amount of resources, space and manpower required to run such a concern are tiny in comparison to the profits that can be made.

The factors outlined above have created a self-sustaining cycle. People need to eat and live, and they need money to do so. People need work to obtain money, so people need to find work. People use modern technology and facilities to find work, and companies like Linkedin make money from this demand. Companies like Linkedin foster the development and expansion of relevant technologies, and as a consequence the job market is narrowed and made more competitive. People struggle to eat and live. It is difficult to see a realistic or humane way out of such a scenario.

Against a backdrop of uncertain times for UK festivals, with some going to the wall and more still compromising their spirit and content to survive, Boomtown Fair is bucking the trend and thriving. As Boomtown 2012 approaches, we’ll be speaking to the organizers, artists, environment sculptors and party-starters to find out why Boomtown is such a favourite. First up: co-founder Lak Mitchell:

Your alarm clock goes off. It’s the morning of August the 9th and festival gates open at midday. What’s the first thing that goes through your head?

Thank fuck for that!

You’ve been doing this since 2006, what are the main differences and similarities between the first Boomtown and the rippling, muscular beastie that Boomtown 2012 promises to be?

Differences apart from the obvious size increase, I would say its much more diverse both in the audience it attracts and the spectrum of music genres now covered, however the festivals backbone is still very much party ska.  

My first impression of Boomtown 2011 was how unpretentious it is – the crowd is there to get on it and party not pose. What do you think of the crowd you’ve attracted?

The crowd are mental! They are the icing on the cake for us. Every year we have thousands of requests from them to get involved in anyway humanly possible- believe me we have had some very strange requests, but yeah they all really just want to be involved and push it to the limits.   

We’re asking your artists what attracted them to the festival, but what attracts you to a potential Boomtown act?

We spend every spare second researching artists and the bottom line for us is simply that they’re fun! I’m really looking forward to seeing Gadjo – an amazing gypsy band from Barcelona, also Bison – hoof stomping ska from Sheffield, they’ve specially reformed for Boomtown. Tanya Stephens is performing at what will be her first ever UK festival experience. Alborosie, as he is probably the biggest reggae act in the world at the moment and although you will not find out until they actually go on, our secret headline act is without a doubt the most legendary act to ever grace our stages.

You’ve got Arcadia landing this year, and some brand new areas. Looks like Boomtown is thriving, tell us more!

Arcadia and Boomtown are very close companies, we work together on loads of projects and have done for years, however Boomtown has never been in the position to take on the full Spider show without it leaving the rest of the festival hanging out to dry….until now that is! Although the stage is going to be big they are also spreading all over the site with lightning shows, mushroom bombs and mutated vehicle stages…be prepared! We also have around fifteen totally bonkers new venues, one being Bearded Kitten – who are clearly the silliest festival crew in the world, hosting The Boomtown bank in May-fair Avenue – a large outdoor arena of madness , we have a wicked new live reggae stage deep in the woods, moving churches, mock funerals, bubble water slides. To be honest I could go on forever but you just gunna have to see for yourself.  

That’s a lot to put together and oversee – what on earth possesses you to do this year after year?

We have an absolutely amazing crew of total lunatics behind us which really make all these outrageous ideas a reality. Believe it or not it actually gets easier and easier. 

And so the big final question: what’s your favourite spot on the festival site to spend a spare minute and what drink is in your hand when you’re there?

For me its the Oldtown Theatre hosted by the Invisble Circus, The line-up of flat out ska, gypsy and swing is so solid every year I would love just to move into that venue for good. 

Drink wise – any form of decent cider is fine by me!

Boomtown Fair is held at a secret Southern England location from 9th-12th of August.

Tickets and further information from boomtownfair.co.uk

Brits  flocked  to Cyprus to work on their melanomas – then known as ‘tans’ – and enjoy the pubs and Indian and Chinese takeaways which sprouted along the coast. They bought homes on the coast and many settled down to enjoy the ex-pat way of life;  bridge parties, tennis, St. George’s Day, Marmite famines, that sort of thing. 

But now Cyprus is wooing a new breed. Russians, voted the world’s worst tourists in 2009, have invaded the beach resorts driving ‘nice’ British visitors to the brink of extinction. They are large,  they are loud and like Germans (still clinging to their place as the world’s second worst tourists) they take over the sun loungers.   

It’s all to do with the recession, apparently. Hotels such as Coral Bay in Paphos are struggling to fill their rooms so they offer vastly discounted all-inclusive deals to tour operators from places like Yakutsk  in the Arctic Circle where the temperature averages -8 degrees centigrade and  the  269,486 citizens all want to go to Cyprus. No wonder they are fat and like all Arctic creatures are programmed to eat everything they can find: they gorge on the buffets often carting extra plate loads to their rooms and stuffing their bags with bread rolls. It drives the staff mad.

Coral Bay hotel, where the British Olympic team often train, has also struck a deal with the French Foreign Legion which uses it as an R&R centre. The French are also way up there for being among the rudest tourists in the world and although the legionnaires look absolutely awesome in their Speedos,  being woken to the sound of their  workouts in the communal  pool with the drill major shouting UN! DUH! TWA! CAT! CINK! … UN! DE! TWA! CAT! CINK! … UN! DE! TWA! CAT! CINK! is not conducive to relaxation.   

The solution is to leave the coast alone these days. Drive into the countryside and visit some of the neglected villages of Cyprus. The roads are surprisingly good and thanks to Kitchener et al you drive on the left.   Among the top attractions  are the painted churches in the Troodos Mountains with their dazzling golden chandeliers and altar screens set with icons dating back to the 17 century. There are also monasteries with small signs saying ‘We Regret we are not Open to Tourists’ which have been painted over. Orthodox priests have abandoned a long tradition of isolation and opened their doors to the modern world. We visited Omodos, about 40km North West of Limassol, a picturesque village at the foothill of the Troodos Mountains, with the 17th century Monastery of the Holy Cross. Fully restored now, there’s also a small museum of lace and another with a fantastic collection of icons. It’s all open to the public, and free too. There’s no curator telling you not to touch anything and in fact many visitors bend to kiss the faces or hands of the painted saints. Ignorant? Perhaps it is. But having recently been ticked off at Tate Modern for breathing near a cabinet full of dead fish, I revelled in the lack of formality – and trust – displayed in Omodos.

Along with the Monastery of the Holy Cross, Omodos is famed for a particularly distinctive local wine called Afames made from local grapes. So great was its reputation that the guides tell you the Ottoman sultan Selim II conquered Cyprus just to get his hands on it. Other delicacies from Omodos are the almond pastes and jellies made from the sweet nuts of the trees whose pale pink blossoms are the
heralds of spring in the Troodos.  

We searched in vain for The Walnut Tree  restaurant which had been recommended and ended up instead in a tavern which one of Stalin’s granddaughters -  I swear –  now runs.

“Your camera schvized on, I put it off,” she announced as we sat down and clicked the dial on my Canon to off. We asked how long it would take to get to the Kykkos Monastery. “It is 50 kilometres, it take half hour. You have one hour for tour of  monasterzy and one hour for  town. You eatz then you go Kikkos monasterzy.”

We hung our heads and ordered what she told us to eatz.  It seemed polite to do so, more English, and perhaps we would escape execution by her husband who was in the kitchen sharpening something.

English artist Damien Hirst. Still image from the 2010 documentary "The Future of Art" by Erik Niedling and Ingo Niermann. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

TALK about time-expired: Damien Hirst’s work, now showing in a major retrospective at Tate Modern,  has had its day in more ways than one. Not only are the pickled sharks, sheep and fish showing  signs of decay but sales of his work have plummeted.

Channel 4’s Four Rooms, a little-known TV series,  exposed the  Hirst’s collapse the week the show opened. In the series,  owners of artworks bargain with four buyers, each of whom sits in a separate room. Offers must be accepted on the spot: there’s no going back. If the offer in the first room happens to be the highest, and you refuse, bad luck.

This was the predicament of the two oddballs who owned a fish and chip shop in Leeds to which Hirst once gifted one of his pickled herrings.  As soon as the Brit Art bad boy won the Turner Prize, the chippies consigned the piece to Bonhams with a reserve of £100,000, which it failed to reach. Withdrawn at £80,000, the forthcoming Tate show gave the guys a second chance to cash in on the Hirst name.

The first  dealer offered them a staggering £40,000. She was flatly turned down. It went from bad to worse until the boys reached the last room where a pomandered antique dealer was forced to cough up £20,000 after losing a wager. He immediately proclaimed the fish to be worth £60,000.

Why am I telling you all this? Not to show the ugly cupidity of art dealers or because I am addicted to daytime-like TV but because the episode defines what Hirst’s work represents. Hirst is a manufacturer of luxury goods,  his art is a commodity, nothing more. But the bubble has burst.  Little birds in the art market are tweeting that Hirst’s day is done. “It’s impossible to unload dot paintings,” says one market expert, who added that  Jay Joplin, Hirst’s dealer, was trying to stop the rot by buying in anything that appeared on the market. Last year, the highest price for a Hirst was down to $1.7m, compared to $19m in 2007.

At 46,  Hirst is certainly wealthy.  His diamond-studded skull For the Love of God (which he called a critique   of capitalism) is the most popular exhibit at the Tate Modern show. He claimed it was sold for  £50 million to an anonymous cartel then admitted that he was one of the new ‘owners’ when the Art Newspaper outed the truth. But in terms of art sales, Hirst is  now way behind  Gerhard Richter, whose work earned almost $200m in auction sales, while the Chinese painter Zeng Fanzhi now lays claim to being the richest artist in the world.

Visitors to Tate Modern queuing up for an hour to spend £15 to gain entry to the Hirst show will mostly be unaware of all this back-stabbing. It is after all one of  the world’s great galleries, a wonderful exhibition space created originally by Gilbert Scott as a power station but now a major attraction in itself. That Hirst got here in itself is a stamp of approval and collectors are hopeful the retrospective will halt the market slide.

I declined the small hagiography offered at the door because I did not want to throw up over the sort of drivel which Hirst is famous, like: “You get cab drivers and stuff who come up to me and they go (sic) “What you do is not art, mate.  I’m sure there were people around when they were doing it in the caves, going ‘I like your cave, but I hate that crap you’ve got on the walls.’”

But in the event I nearly threw up in the second room where A Thousand Years — a rotting cow’s head in a pool of blood being devoured by maggots –is showing. Not because of the exhibit itself but because of the odure. Despite a well-made display case, there is a distinct escape of smell.

Unfortunately the queue for the living butterfly exhibit In and Out of Love started here so there was no avoiding it. I’d come for the butterflies, which I had not seen but had heard much about. Art critic Brian Sewell is particularly savage on the subject: “all who care for living things should boycott this exhibition”. But the room with its canvases smeared with the excrement of the hatched pupae and potted plants  from Homebase or B&Q  was a  dismal let down – conceited,  poorly staged, inconsequential, a minor extension of the dreary theme of the transience of life. And there were no display cases.

The display cases are good, the real stars of the show, but Hirst did not make them. He does not make anything. His big idea of displaying his work as specimens does make good use of the Tate Modern’s soaring exhibition rooms, however. The show is an exhibition of stunning costly display cases. You could put anything in those cases and it would look interesting – or dull –  depending on whether you liked being dragged around the Natural History Museum as a 6 year old or not.

The show was meant to have travelled on to the Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA) in Los Angeles. But allegedly, the museum has had to put the idea on hold because hosting the show would exceed its entire annual budget, so at least  America will be spared this (literally) rotten exhibition.